I’m no stranger to heartbreak. Like fingerprints, each one of mine is as unique as the relationship that preceded it. And regardless of the reasons or who initiated what, it always sucks. I will venture to say, though, that being the one who is on the receiving end of the decision to end things is a little worse than on the delivering end. So I’ve drawn on my extensive “getting dumped” experience and written an open letter to any girl who might need a little pep talk, any girl who has been deserted by someone they loved very much. Guys, maybe you’ll find this applicable too but I really can’t say I know what it’s like to be dumped as a guy. It’s helped me, and hopefully it will help someone else out there who might be hurting. These things are never easy, but remember that everything happens for a reason.
“You tried, darling. You loved him the best you could. You threw yourself in 110%. You tried to show him how to love you, and it just didn’t take. It’s not your fault, you did everything you could think of. Yes, this hurts. Because you gave so much more of yourself than you ever normally would have, more than you even knew you had in you. Because you compromised your own pride for love. Because you made him a priority, and in return all you were told is that you are optional. And yes, that really, really hurts. Especially when it comes from someone you loved so much.
You have to remember that compromise has to come from both sides of an equation, and you just can’t keep giving to someone who isn’t willing to give back. If you keep trying to do that, you’re just going to keep hurting. You tried to lower and lower the level of sacrifice, until he finally told you he couldn’t sacrifice anything at all. Yes, he was worth it to you, but you weren’t to him. So now you have to love yourself more than him. Now you have try to replace who you thought was irreplaceable, because you’ve been told that you are replaceable. You should not be made to feel interchangeable with whoever is convenient.
You have to remember that love doesn’t deal in “ifs” and “whens,” but in “always” and “no matter the circumstances.” “Can’t” is not in the vocabulary of love, only “how.” He couldn’t be bothered to figure that out with you, so you only got “can’t.” You deserve better than a man like that. You deserve someone who will think of ways to get the two of you around the obstacles that enter your path. Someone who thinks in “us” and “we,” not “I” and “me.” So keep fighting through the bad days, revel in the good ones, and remember that you’re worth it to someone. When you find him all this pain will make sense. You loved the wrong person so well, so just imagine how amazing you will be at loving the right person. Imagine what it will feel like to have all this trying actually be reciprocated. Trust that you will only go up from here, and push yourself to get there as soon as you can. You gave it everything, and as long as you keep that up, you’re going to be just fine.”